Friday, April 18, 2008

25 worst rappers of all time

Go to Yahoo original
It's said he who doesn't remember history is doomed to repeat it. Well, how does that explain cable television? Vanilla Ice has a new "Greatest Hits" album just out that redefines both the words "Greatest" and "Hits" simultaneously! That shows more genius than his entire career. But be warned, if you celebrate his banal awfulness, you will only be further rewarded with more of the same. The MC Hammer comeback will spring into full force. Nelly will re-find his magical band-aid and Fred Durst will be given a reason to exist. We need to save the planet now. I don't want to say that ignoring Will Smith can have the same effect on the environment as cutting down greenhouse gas emissions, but what if it turned out to be true?

Here are the 25 Worst Rappers of All-Time. We might have a 26th to add if Bill Cosby gets his act together and releases the "rap" album he threatens!

25) Chicago Bears

24) Bubba Sparxxx

23) Mike Jones

22) Bobby Jimmy And The Critters

21) 2 Live Crew

20) Nelly

19) Dan Aykroyd And Tom Hanks

18) Chingy

17) Elvira

16) Insane Clown Posse

15) Rappin' Duke

14) Master P

13) Tony Yayo

12) Northern State

11) Shaquille O'Neal

10) Marky Mark And The Funky Bunch

9) K-Fed

8) Will Smith

7) Mr. T

6) Fred Durst (Limp Bizkit)

5) Puff Daddy

4) Dee Dee King

3) Brian Austin Green

2) MC Hammer

1) Vanilla Ice: Whether Suge Knight ever actually dangled Robert Van Winkle, Mr. Vanilla Ice, from a balcony or not, the point intended is an important one: STOP MAKING RAP RECORDS. "Ice Ice Baby" isn't so much a bad song as simply an insult. Instead of making a low-rent porn video, Ice makes Cool As Ice, a film so bad it almost makes you wish he'd stuck to making records.


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